Becoming a parent is one of the most profound and life-changing experiences. But let’s be real—postpartum life is no walk in the park. From the emotional rollercoaster to the physical recovery, it’s a lot to navigate. We asked an experienced postpartum doula to share her best advice for new parents. Her answers? Honest, practical, and full of heart.
Meet our expert
We spoke with Kristin Revere, the owner of Gold Coast Doulas, an elite certified birth doula, and an elite certified postpartum and infant care doula. She is also a newborn care specialist through Newborn Care Solutions. Kristin has co-created a birth and baby prep course called Becoming a Mother and co-hosts the Ask the Doulas podcast. As a certified baby registry expert, she also offers advice on baby shower planning.
Q: What’s the most important piece of advice for new parents?
A: Trust your instincts as a parent. No one knows your body or your baby better than you. If something feels off, speak up—whether it’s to your healthcare provider, your baby’s pediatrician, or a trusted support system.
“If something feels off, say something.”
Q: What’s the easiest way to ask for help (without the guilt)?
A: The easiest solution? Hire a postpartum doula. They anticipate your needs, so you don’t even have to ask. But if that’s not an option, here are other ways to invite support without feeling overwhelmed:
- Be specific. Before the baby arrives, let loved ones know exactly how they can help—whether that’s doing dishes, walking the dog, or picking up groceries.
- Create a task list. Keep a running to-do list on the fridge so visitors can pitch in without asking.
- Set boundaries. Limit visits to short windows or times that work best around baby’s naps and feeds.
- Registry hack. Add postpartum support (like doula hours) to your baby registry.
Bonus tip: Postpartum meal delivery services can be a lifesaver—nutritious, no-fuss, and no cooking required.
Q: If I only have 10 minutes for self-care, what should I do?
A: Self-care doesn’t have to mean hours at a spa. With just 10 minutes, you can recharge in simple but meaningful ways:
- Read a few pages of a book you love.
- Sip a warm cup of tea.
- Call a friend who lifts your spirits.
A little “you time” can go a long way. Even small, intentional moments of self-care can help you feel more grounded and connected to yourself during this new chapter.
Q: When should I seek professional help for postpartum mental health?
A: There are signs that you may need more support:
- Trouble sleeping (even when the baby sleeps)
- Persistent anxiety or sadness beyond the baby blues
It’s normal to feel emotional after giving birth, but if feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety persist, professional support can make a world of difference. Overnight doulas or nannies can offer a night of restorative sleep—and sometimes, that’s a game-changer. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your provider or a mental health professional if you feel overwhelmed.
Q: How can partners recognize when a mom is struggling?
A: Partners often know when something is “off.” Look for signs like withdrawal, excessive worry, or mood swings. If the person you love seems beyond exhausted, disconnected, or overly anxious, gently encourage them to talk to a healthcare provider. Trust your gut—if something feels wrong, speak up.
Being proactive and providing emotional support, like validating her feelings and reassuring her that she’s not alone, can make all the difference.
Q: Are there any mindset shifts that help parents cope with the exhaustion?
A: Absolutely. Here are a few key ones:
- Focus on healing and bonding. Household tasks can wait.
- “Rest when the baby rests” isn’t just a cliché—it’s crucial.
- Outsource when you can. Hiring help (even for one night) is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Also, remember that this season is temporary. Embracing a mindset of flexibility and patience with yourself can help make the journey smoother.
Q: What are the three must-haves for a postpartum survival kit?
A: Doulas swear by these three essentials in your postpartum survival kit:
- A journal. Jot down your feelings, document milestones, and process your birth experience.
- One-handed snacks. Think nourishing, grab-and-go foods (hello, protein bars!).
- A good swaddle. Game-changer for soothing. Favorites include Swaddelini and Love to Dream.
Bonus tip: Warming teas are not just comforting—they’re also a doula-approved postpartum essential. Herbal teas like ginger, chamomile, or red raspberry leaf can soothe and support your recovery.
Q: What are some misconceptions about postpartum recovery?
A: One big myth? Peeing when you sneeze isn’t normal. Pelvic floor physical therapy can be a game-changer.
Other common misconceptions include:
- “Bouncing back” quickly. Healing takes time—both physically and emotionally.
- Breastfeeding is easy. It can take time to get the hang of it, and lactation support can be a big help.
Ask your OB or midwife for a referral for pelvic floor therapy—many insurances cover it. You don’t have to “just live with” postpartum discomfort.
Q: What’s different about recovering from a C-section?
A: Cesarean healing can take longer than a vaginal birth. There are lifting restrictions that can last up to twelve weeks. It can take two to four weeks longer to return to exercise after a surgical birth. Everyone heals differently, and it is important to speak to your provider if anything feels off—no matter if it is a surgical or a vaginal birth.
Breastfeeding can be more uncomfortable after a surgical birth, and it can sometimes take longer for milk to come in. Compression garments can also be helpful for recovery from a surgical birth.
Q: How can new parents prepare emotionally for postpartum life?
A: The emotional ride can be intense. Plan ahead:
- Divide the workload. The Fair Play Method is a great tool for sharing responsibilities. (Check out the book and deck).
- Team mindset. Partners can handle diapers, baths, and soothing—even if mom is exclusively breastfeeding.
- It’s temporary. These sleepless nights won’t last forever.
Bonus tip: Consider scheduling regular mental health check-ins as a couple to stay connected and aware of each other’s emotional well-being.
Q: What role does nutrition play in postpartum healing?
A: Postpartum depletion is real. Focus on warming foods (think soups and broths) to nourish and heal. Two must-read books on postpartum nutrition:
Bonus tip: Set up snacking stations with easy, nourishing options and always keep fresh water or coconut water nearby. Hydrating while breastfeeding or recovering is essential for your physical and mental well-being.
